by joysun | Feb 18, 2016 | Helene's Blog
Excerpts from the book, “I Said What?” A Therapist’s Insights & Solutions for Love, Joy and Success, by Helene Rothschild, LMFT
Note: The names of the clients have been changed to spices to protect their identity.
Mr. Curry had a violent temper. To help him, I suggested, “Curry, I think it would be very helpful for you to purchase a stuffed animal. When you feel angry, hug it as if it is your angry little boy.”
Curry returned the following week carrying a tennis bag. To my pleasant surprise, he unzipped it and took out his cute little teddy bear, hugged it and said, “It worked, Helene. I did not put my fist though any walls this week. Thank you so much.” I congratulated Curry for nurturing his scared inner child which was hiding behind his angry little boy.
Exasperated, Ms. Vanilla exclaimed, “My mother makes me so angry.” I suggested that she say, “Mom, when you say that, I feel discounted.” Vanilla repeated my words and then admitted that she felt calmer and more powerful because she expressed the underlying feeling of her anger.
The truth is that no one makes you feel anything. Only we are responsible for all of our feelings; otherwise, we are like puppets who allow others to pull our strings. When that image comes up in a session, I encourage the client to cut the puppet cords so that no one can control them. Then they can take control of their lives, including their feelings.
For example, “Mr. Coconut”, I said, “I believe that you are suffering from the Puppet Syndrome. Close your eyes and look up to see who you are allowing to pull your strings?” “I see my parents and wife,” he replied. “I continued, “Coconut if you are ready and willing to be your own person, cut the puppet strings.” “I am definitely ready!” he declared. Coconut felt free to be his own person for the first time in his life.
Are you feeling free to be who you uniquely are? You are probably very unhappy if you are allowing others to pull your strings and control your life. It is your birthright to be free to be yourself. You can also cut the puppet strings and stand up for yourself. Go for it!
Mr. Paprika felt guilty that he did not love his parents. I explained, “Paprika, even if you are angry at them, you can still love them.” Love is a general feeling of deep caring; like and dislikes are about specific words or behaviors. Therefore, you can say, “I love you, and I do not like it when you criticize me.”
When clients ask me, “Helene, what should I do?” I respond with, “What are your choices?” After they explore the possible solutions, I continue, “Which one feels right to you?” I empower them to solve their own problems so they do not depend on me for their answers.
Copyright 2016 by author Helene Rothschild, LMFT,
I Said What?
by joysun | Feb 15, 2016 | Helene's Blog
Excerpts from the book, “I Said What?” A Therapist’s Insights & Solutions for Love, Joy and Success, by Helene Rothschild, LMFT
I used to be a tennis player, teacher, and coach. However, as I moved on in years, I realized that my body was telling me to stop before I hurt myself. I really missed all the fun and exercise I had with my favorite sport. Many years later, I started playing tennis on the Wii Sports Nintendo game.
To have fun with these concepts, imagine that a very large carrot is the tennis racket that you use to hit the big olive, which is the tennis ball, with the hope and intention of sending it in the direction of the opposite court.
As I was running around chasing the tennis olive in my living room, I started to intuitively hear some profound life lessons to share with you. I noticed how helpful they were to offer insights and solutions on how to live a happier, more successful and fulfilled life. These important concepts can be applied to all sports. They helped me become a pro on the Wii and in life. The lessons can also greatly improve your game of life. Enjoy!
Self-coaching 1: When I miss the tennis olive, I can say to myself: “I am a failure; I am not very good at this; the other team is too good for me; I will quit trying; this is too hard; I am not good enough; and/or I will never improve.” Can you relate?
If I am aware of what I am saying, I can choose to coach myself in a positive way by thinking or saying out loud; “I will keep practicing; I am good enough; I am improving; and I am doing this well.” It would also be helpful to ask myself what did not work that time, and how can I do better and succeed? To learn from the experience, I can analyze how I can hold and swing my carrot more effectively, and whether or not it would be better to hit the olive sooner or later.
Life Lesson 1: Observe what is working in your life and what is not. Instead of giving up, or making the same mistakes and getting the same results, explore ways to be more successful. For example, if your conversation with your partner, child, boss, or friend did not go well, find out how you can improve your communication to have a better experience or outcome.
Self-coaching 2: On the Wii Sports game, tennis is a doubles match. I was upset with my partner playing at the net. She did nothing while I ran all over the living room struggling against the computer team. Two against one is unfair! Frustrated, I ate the carrot and olive.
One day, I told my nine-year-old granddaughter my dilemma. To my surprise, she said, “Grandma, you also need to swing your partner’s carrot at the net.” I had a good laugh, as I realized that all along I had control of both of my players.
Life Lesson 2: How many times do we feel like a victim when we actually have control of our lives? We are often quick to blame someone, or something else for our situation, when we really do have the power to change it.
Copyright 2016 by author Helene Rothschild, LMFT,
https://helenerothschild.com/product/i-said-what/
by joysun | Jun 25, 2015 | Helene's Blog
We are all natural healers, when we speak and act from love and caring. Fear causes our problems and love is the answer and the solution. One of my quotes is, “Love is the universal antidote for the poison of fear.”
I still remember my teachers in elementary school who were kind and caring, and that was a very long time ago. How about you?
One person can make a difference. For example, when I lived in New York, I realized that one nice, caring, positive taxi driver could easily touch many people. The person who leaves his cab feeling better is likely to share that caring with others in his office. Then they all go home and express it with their loved ones, and so on.
Caring words and actions can, in a sense, “defeat gravity”. Imagine a long line of lying down dominos moving back up. Each domino is pushing up the other, to stand straight and tall. It has a snowball effect.
Likewise, you can also, touch more people than you will ever know, by the following suggestions. Just remember my quote, “Focus each day not on what you accomplish, but how much love and caring you express to others and yourself.”
The following are 21 ways to be a daily healer, and make a difference in your life and others.
- Set your intent to choose to live from love. It is helpful to put your hands over your heart to remember to speak and act from your loving part.
- Share your love non-verbally. Some examples are a smile, a nod of your head in acknowledgment, or an act of kindness such as opening the door for someone.
- When you walk or drive by people, think loving words. For example “Bless you!”
- Look to compliment people. For example, “I like your dress, or tie.”
- Think about someone with loving, positive thoughts. Your thoughts are powerful, and they can make a positive or negative difference.
- Share your loving thoughts with everyone you can. For example, “I was thinking of you.”
- Tell people who are interested about your positive insights, solutions and growth. People can learn from your experiences, and they can be very grateful for the opportunity to benefit from them.
- Say something kind and caring to people you know or do not know. Remember to tell your loved ones, “I love you!”
- Tell everyone that you appreciate them for specific things about their actions or words. For example, “Thank you for helping with the dishes.” “I am grateful for your support.”
- Give to others unconditionally, which means you are not expecting anything in return. Give for the sake of giving which feels very good to them and you. Also, allow yourself to receive.
- Accept that we are all doing the best we can with the information that we have.
Be patient with others and yourself.
- Create win-win solutions, so that everyone feels good about the results.
- Spend quality time with others, and they will feel important to you and worthy of your attention.
- Perceive your job or career as a service (which is coming from caring), rather than just work. Feel grateful for the opportunity to make a difference in other people’s lives.
- Tell your truth in a loving, positive way. For example, “I appreciate when you call me if you will be late.”
- Look for the humor in what happens and help others laugh. Remember it is only funny if everyone involved is laughing.
- Honor and respect everything and everyone, including you.
- In difficult situations, listen to your intuition to know what to do for your highest good. Your intuition comes totally from love and wisdom.
- Forgive people for their mistakes or negative behavior. We all make mistakes, and we can learn from the experience.
- Be supportive of what people choose to do. Remember that they are not you. We are all unique individuals, here to live our unique lives.
- Trust that you do make a difference when you act from love and caring.
Copyright 2015 by Helene Rothschild, MS, MA, LMFT
by joysun | May 2, 2014 | Helene's Blog
As a Marriage and Family Therapist, I have discovered how we act like monkeys and parrots. I noticed that practically all of my clients did to their children what their parents did to them, even though they hated the behavior. For example, children that were yelled at or hit, often grow up doing the same to their kids. (A monkey sees and a monkey does. A parrot hears and a parrot repeats.)
We learn how to be in the world from our parents modeling. Therefore, we continue to pass down the abusive behavior through the generations. I help my clients stop that dysfunctional pattern, and you can, too.
I once asked my 12-yeat-old daughter why she did something. She replied, “Mom, you sound like grandpa!” “Oh,” I responded, “thank you for telling me. I hated when my father said that to me!”
You see, we can be on “automatic pilot” and not be aware of those negative patterns. Once I become conscious of mine, I set my intent to avoid putting my daughter or anyone else on the defensive by starting my sentences with the word “why.” I replaced that word with what and how questions which are great to simply ask for more information.
I suggest that you forgive your parents (and yourself if you need to) for doing the best they could with the information they had. Then be conscious of what behaviors you want to keep from your parents modeling and which ones you choose to change to more positive reactions and behaviors. Be the person you want your children to be. They are watching and listening. They can be like positive, functional monkeys and parrots. What a wonderful world this would be, if we all did just that. What you do and say does make a difference!
Helene Rothschild, MS, MA, LMFT, has been a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist for over 30 years. She developed her own therapeutic technique which she calls, HART (Holistic And Rapid Transformation). She is also a speaker, workshop facilitator, and the author of All You Need is HART! Rothschild is also the author of numerous inspirational books, CDs, articles, and posters, including the well known parenting guidelines, “As I Grow” and “Help Me Grow.” Rothschild offers international telephone and in-person sessions. Her office is near Campbell. www.helenerothschild.com
by admin | Nov 16, 2013 | Helene's Blog
“Heal Your Heart – Heal Your Life”, January 26, 2007,
~The Rebecca Review
Are you ready to be happier, healthier, and more successful in every area of your life?
~Helene Rothschild
Reading “All You Need Is HART!” is similar to wrapping yourself in the most beautiful, warm, loving blanket of understanding you can imagine. Within the pages of this book, Helene Rothschild offers insight into beliefs and fears we need to address in order to balance our lives. By allowing the clearing out of negative emotions, we can embrace new positive beliefs that invite success into our lives.
This book will help you to:
Overcome Phobias
Heal serious physical problems by removing negative emotions
Understand the 20 fears that are blocking you from prosperity
Comfort yourself in times of conflict
Enhance your Self-Esteem
Overcome Addictions
Lose Weight
Create more financial success
Understand how to move from fear to love
Balance your physical, emotional, mental and spiritual life goals
Helene Rothschild’s transformational approach to life allows powerful positive thoughts to create a new reality. This goes beyond thinking positively and addresses specific areas of personal growth. A notebook or journal is helpful. Jotting down specific areas of conflict will encourage you to refocus on those areas in order to overcome fears and conflicts that may stem from childhood experiences.
“Addictions are what we do to the extreme in order to run away from our emotional pain caused by our negative decision. They are usually the symptoms and not the causes of our problems.” ~Helene Rothschild
I have recently been thinking about how much of our adult life is spent overcoming our childhood. Are you stuck in a pattern of negative thoughts and actions? What is holding you back from success?
Fun questionnaires, visualizations, insightful commentary, examples from real life and a thoughtful approach to conflict resolution makes this book essential reading. Some of the things you may find yourself doing while reading this book include:
- Writing down lists of things you want to change in your life to encourage more success.
- Encountering moments of enlightenment about what is really holding you back from success. I wrote down 12 things I need to change in the next year. I had a startling revelation on page 85 when I realized how something my father said to me as a teenager is still affecting how I think about my life today.
- Writing down goals for the next year! This book is excellent in this regard and it can help you plan out goals for an area of your life. This may include your career, relationships, sexuality, weight issues and health.
The affirmations in this book are especially healing. There is also a stunningly beautiful 8-page love letter that expresses the deepest heart desires anyone could ever feel or try to express. Rewriting the letter while including some of the topics of high concern could create one of the best love letters you ever give someone.
“All You Need Is HART (Holistic And Rapid Transformation)” is truly based on accepting yourself and being brave enough to love who you truly are as a soul. Helene Rothschild gives guidance and presents a safe, comforting place of acceptance where you can grow, change and become more successful in every area of your life. I found this book to be a highly empowering read and I believe this book will change your life in dramatic and healing ways.
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Positive lessons and transformational tools presented in this upbeat and insightful resource. November 4, 2006
Reviewer: Midwest Book Review (Oregon, WI USA)
Written by Helene Rothschild, MS, MS, MFT, All You Need is HART: Create Love, Joy, and Abundance – Now! is an empowering self-help book that guides the reader through a process of Holistic And Rapid Transformation. Grounded in basic principles such as “our minds are like magnets and therefore we attract what we are thinking” and “what people say or do is about them and not you. You are okay no matter what people say or do!”, the HART process is a compassionate, self-esteem building, consciousness-raising philosophy to improving one’s mental, physical, and spiritual life. Sample exercises for the reader to perform or write answers to help reinforce the positive lessons and transformational tools presented in this upbeat and insightful resource.
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A Must for Individuals Seeking Real Life Changes. July 27, 2006
Reviewer: C. Warger (Reston, VA USA)
An excellent resource. The book describes the HART process, shows its application to real life issues (self-esteem, healing your body, romantic relationships, sexuality, parenting, communicating, releasing anger, problem solving, overcoming addictions, career, etc.), and then provides the HART tools for addressing one’s own issues. The examples ring true. It is a truly inspiring and helpful book.
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Create What You Truly Desire. August 10, 2006
Reviewer: Harmony Faith Blanchard (Sedona, AZ)
This is a very powerful, practical, and effective self-help book. It was written with the highest of intentions to touch and heal your heart and soul. Within these pages, Helene shares with us the HART Process, which was created from many years of valuable experience, unconditional love, patience, and wisdom. If you are truly looking to change your life for the better, this is the book for you! The exercises will assist you to discover and dissolve fears (conscious as well as subconscious ones) that are blocking you, so that you may quickly manifest what you truly desire through positive beliefs, unconditional love, and allowance. It works for me! Thank you Helene!!!
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First Self-help Book That Targets All The Main Issues. October 5, 2007. Reviewer: Celia Altschuler, (Puerto Rico)
Besides my other professional tasks, I’m a volunteer for young pregnant teens and I have also helped women who have suffered domestic violence. I have read many self-help books, but “All You Need is HART!” is the first one that targets all the main issues that should be dealt with in order to solve human conflict. It’s a good workshop or individual homework book. It can be a healing aid for our relations and improve our social environment. I encourage my friends to read it, for it can make a difference.
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This Book really has all that you need. July 22, 2006 (New Jersey, USA) Reviewer: Sunshine
I love this book. It is the best self help book I have used so far. It covers all areas of life and you can counsel yourself easily with the help of this book. When I get stuck I simply open this book up and do the exercises in them. The language in this book is simple and it helps you go right to the problem so you can resolve it.
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You’ll Love This Book Too! November 12, 2007 (France) Reviewer: Peter Shepherd, Psychologist, author of “Tools for Transformation.”
When the Beatles sang “All You Need Is Love” live in the first world-wide TV transmission, back in the late 60’s, it was one of the transformative moments of my life. No, I wasn’t cynical then and I still believe that message now – I’ve found it’s true so many times. So does Helene Rothschild, whose new book “All You Need Is HART!” exemplifies the transformative power of love in action.
HART stands for Holistic and Rapid Transformation, and that’s just what her book offers. It covers all the bases: success, self-esteem, healing your body, relationships, parenting, affirming your truth. With the infusion of love, all problems dissolve. The HART method is truly transformative and you’ll love this book too!
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Highly recommended. November 15, 2006
Reviewer: Sharman O’Shea Publisher, Holistic Hawaii Publications & Promotions (Honolulu, HI USA)
In her book ‘All You Need is HART!” Create Love, Joy and Abundance NOW!” Helene Rothschild offers up a unique guide to Holistic And Rapid Transformation. (HART)
Helene takes you on a journey to uncover the root causes of your problems. Then she lovingly guides you through her processes / exercises that help you raise your self esteem, allow yourself to succeed, heal your body and relationships with yourself and others, enjoy successful parenting, learn empowering communication, follow your inner guidance, overcome addictions, balance your life and overcome your fears.
Truly a “Manual for Life,” easy to use and understand, Helene’s book is full of exercises that help you transform every area of your life. From your relationships, your finances, your job, your health, Helene lovingly guides you, without judgment, to find the core decision that will lead you out of your past of hurt and trauma to a path of self discovery and healing, which supports you in your life’s mission, goals and aspirations.
When you are ready for transformation and success in every area of your life get a copy of her book read it cover to cover, take her success questionnaire and see what beliefs you have that support your success or beliefs that may be sabotaging your success. It may surprise you! Learn the Seven Major Keys to Success and transform your life into the life of your dreams.
Helene’s book radiates pure love. Even looking at the cover is positive, uplifting and heartwarming. Helene’s bubbly personality emulates from every page. Reading her book filled me with the possibility that I am pure love and that I can make a new decision to accept the blessing of success in every area of my life. Thank you, Helene, for this beautiful book.
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Resolution, Transformation, and Fulfillment, March 14, 2007 By Richard R. Blake (San Leandro, CA)
“All You Need Is HART” is a holistic guidebook to help, you, the reader experience a life of abundance. Issues covered in the book include: Raising self esteem, enhancing relationships, keys to success, overcoming addictions, sexuality, anger, parenting, and healing.
The author introduces several techniques she has developed in the HART program, self talk, visualization, and the use of affirmations. The effectiveness of the program is demonstrated through the use of case study examples. Each case is developed with a statement of the problem, suggested therapy, and the accomplished results. As a reader I was drawn into the narrative and eager to use the exercises, and affirmations as I recognized areas needing attention in my own experience.
Helene Rothschild is well qualified to author this important and unique manual. She is a licensed marriage and family therapist. Helene is founder of the Institute for Creative Therapy and has developed this well documented and thoroughly proven process. Rothschild has labeled this program of Creative Therapy (HART). Rothschild’s approach to unresolved personal issues has proven to be “Holistic and Rapid Transformation.”
This straightforward guide offers creative techniques for building healthy relationships, experiencing healing from physical suffering, as well as in areas of self discovery, inner growth and personal development.
